I Was Lonely
by BlueMusic09
Summary: Matthew has felt alone most of his life. He's broken and depressed. What effect will Gilbert have on Matthew when he enters his life? FAIL summary but The story is better than the summary. Rated T for safety. I'm new so please go easy on me! Eventual Prucan.
1. Matthew

I Was Lonely

PruCan Fan Fiction

**BlueMusic09: Hello, Fan Fictioners! My name is BlueMusic09! I'm new at this so please be easy on me. I may be horrible at this, just please don't post anything negative. Instead, tell me what I did wrong and I'll go back and correct my mistake. I'm not sure how often I'm going to update or if I'm going to make this a completed story.**

**Hannah Ramirez: She doesn't own Hetalia. If she did then I would be an official character and my older brother, Canada, would appear more often.**

**BM09: I do own the plot and Hannah Ramirez and Steven. BTW, if any one recognizes Hannah, that was my guest name before. Now, I have an account! **

**Hannah: Yeah…I remember that. Wait…who's Steven? **

**BM09: Random OC. I do not own Hetalia, just the plot, Hannah, and Steven.**

**"Speech" 'thoughts' **

* * *

I'm Matthew Williams, a depressed sixteen-year-old who hates most of his life. Yes, I love my loud twin brother, Alfred, and my black-haired little sister, Hannah, and my sweet mother with icy-blue eyes. What I really hate is that my mother and sister are dead and my brother was kicked out of the house. I also hate my father, the one who kicked Al out and didn't gave a shit about his family. I also hate the fact that I get bullied by Ivan and his buddies and get sexually harassed by Steven.

I cut myself for these reasons. I have thought of suicide before, but I was too scared to do it. I wish I had a friend to talk to, to hang out with, to have fun with, but I don't. Most people ignore me or just hate me for no good reason that I can think of. Can't I just have one person, just one, to be my friend? To care about me? To accept me for who I am? What have I done to deserve this living hell? Please, someone, anyone, save me from this hell before I actually commit suicide.

First day of school came way too soon for me. I got pushed into the lockers, ignored by students and teachers, saw couples reunited, and got bullied. Yeah, normal day for me. By the end of the school day, I just wanted to run out of the classroom, lock myself in my room and die.I made my way out of the crowded hallways into the fresh outdoors. For some reason being outside always calmed me down after having a rough day at school. 'The new students seem nice…but they haven't notice me yet. I hope one of them becomes my friend.'

"Matthew!" called a voice. 'Oh please let it be one of the new students wanting to become my friend.' The mysterious person catched up with me and my hopes were shattered. "Don't you even try to escape," growled Steven as he pulled me into a dark alley.

He pushed me into the wall and kissed me roughly. I whimpered from the pain and tried to push him away. He chuckled darkly and pinned my hands above my head. Then he started kissing my neck. I closed my eyes and turned my head to my right, away from the entrance to the alley. 'Please...someone help me.' I started to cry when Steven slid his hand under my shirt. 'He's going to do it again.'

"Matthew, you'll always be my toy...no one else's but mine," he whispered in my ear. My eyes snapped open and squirmed violently. Steven slammed me into the wall, hard enough to hit my head against the wall. I whimpered loudly.

"Why?" I asked with new tears in my eyes. The world was spinning too fast. 'Oh please someone help me.'

"Hey, you leave him alone!" growled a German-accented voice.

"And who are you to tell me what to do?" Steven answered with venom dripping from his voice.

"Just leave him alone before I beat you up."

"Fine. You probably don't even know him." Steven let me go and walked away. I used the wall for support.

"Hey, are you okay?" I looked up and saw my savior. He was a red-eyed albino, around one or two inches taller than me. He was really good-looking

"I'm fine...just a little dizzy..." I whispered.

"Does he do this often?" He sounded...angry. I nodded slowly. "What's your name?"

"Matthew...Matthew Williams."

" The awesome Gilbert Beilschmidt!" He said proudly.

"Thanks..."

"No prob. Do you have anywhere to go?

I had to think for this one. I could say yes but I don't want to go home and I could say no and he'll probably leave me here or take to his house or something. "I do but I don't wan to go home."

"Problems at your house?"

"Yeah." 'More like I'm terrified that my dad is going to beat me for coming late.'

"Well, you're coming home with me! I don't want that dude to rape you in the streets."

Gilbert helped me walk to his house which wasn't very far from that alley. His father(?) and brother(?) gave us a strange look and demanded us to explain the situation. Gilbert did most of the talking. After explaining everything, they let me stay for the night and had dinner.

* * *

**Hannah**:** You killed me….**

**Blue: I'm sorry. I'll explain later. Anyway, I know it might be crappy but please tell me on what I need to work on instead of saying I suck. I'll give you imaginary cookies!**


	2. Gilbert

**Chapter Two**

**Blue: Thanks to the Ramegrl who reviewed! You made me feel special despite Hannah trying to choke me. (Yeah, she's mad that I "killed" her.)****I'm sorry that I haven't updated. School gets in the way. Yes, I do my work but it doesn't mean I like school. Oh yeah! Here are your cookies! *Gives big bucket of cookies* **

**Canada: Uh...Blue?**

**Blue: She's trying to kill me again, isn't she?**

**Canada: Yeah...**

**Blue: Well, Mattie, take over while I run away. I think I saw her. *Runs***

**Canada: Uhhh...Blue doesn't own Hetalia or the pictures she uses. **

* * *

**Chapter Two: Gilbert's POV**

If I hadn't took a wrong turn while walking home, Matthew would've been dead meat. Just for that wrong turn. Anyway, I was making my way back to my house after realizing I was walking the wrong street. I turned around and tried to retrace my path. When I finally figured it out, I was standing in front of a dark alley.

Suddenly, I heard a whimper. 'Wait...did that come from the alley or am I imagining it?' I stood there for a while trying to decide on what to do when I heard another whimper. This time, it was louder than the last time. I walked inside and found a brunet on top of a blond. The brunet was definitely a boy, around, my age sixteen. The blond...well...He/she was facing away from me so yeah.

The brunet whispered something to the blonde. It must've been something bad because the blonde started squirming a little too violently. The brunet slammed the blond into the wall and I finally got to see the blonde's face. The blonde was also a boy.

"Hey, you, leave him alone!" I growled.

"And who are you to tell me what to do?" The brunet said with venom dripping from his voice.

"Just leave him alone before I beat you up."

"Fine. You probably don't even know him." He let go of the blonde and walked away. 'Well, then. He's a major coward.'

I looked over at the blonde. He used the wall for support. "Hey, are you okay?"

The blonde looked up at me. He had purple eyes with hints of blue and had pale skin. "I'm fine...just a little dizzy..." he whispered.

"Does he do this often?" I asked angrily. The blonde nodded. "What's your name?"

"Matthew...Matthew Williams"

"The Awesome Gilbert Beilschmidt!"

"Thanks..."

"No prob. Do you have somewhere to go?"

Matthew hesitated. 'Hesitation is bad. Unless he thinks I'm a stalker.' "I do but I don't want to go home."

"Problems at your house"

"Yeah." I swear to Gott that I heard the _tiniest _hint of fear.

"Well, you're going home with me! I don't want that dude to rape you in the streets." If I hadn't saved him from that brunet, it would've been as awkward as hell to say that. Then again, I did save him from rape and he didn't want to go home, so it wasn't as awkward.

I took him to my house with him leaning on me for support. The poor blonde was still kinda dizzy from the hit with the wall. Anyway, when I opened the front door, vater was about to scold me. He didn't because he noticed Matthew. He and bruder freaked out. I mean, who wouldn't? We're new to the city and I already had someone over and it was not for a casual sleepover. Plus, it was an injured and almost-raped person whom I brought over.

"...So yeah. That's what happened," I said as Matthew nodded in agreement. "And this time I helped, not made it worse, _Bruder."_ 'Damn. That took me an hour to explain. Including interruptions.'

"Ich habe nie gesagt, dass du es noch schlimmer, bruder." (I never said you made it worse, brother.)

"Attendez, (wait) aren't you two the new students at Rainshore* High?" Matthew asked.

"Ja, why?" My bruder and I said at the same time.

"Well, I haven't seen you both at school and I knew the person who used to live here. Plus, we were supposed to get- what was it?- three or four new students?"

"Oh, so you go to RHS?" I said.

"Nah, Gilbert, I'm just a stalker that happens to know about you." Matthew said sarcastically. "Of course I go to RHS! How else would I know about that?"

Before I could reply, my vater said,"It's dark already so Matthew can stay for the night."

I cheered and Matthew smiled. After that we had dinner and played video games before going to bed.

* * *

**Blue: Okay, first thing, Rainshore High was my sister's idea (no she doesn't have an account). I asked her since she come up with creative names. **

**Prussia: That's not a creative name, that's a weird name.**

**Blue: Unless you want me to let Nico and Alexandra (Percy Jackson OC) to throw into Tartarus, be quiet.**

**Prussia:...That Son of Hades and Daughter of Poseidon creep the hell out of me...**

**Blue I know that. Anyway, sorry that I took this long to update. Thanks to Ramegrl who reviewed.**


	3. Matthew 2

**Chapter Three**

**Blue: I'm sorry! Don't kill me por el amor de Dios! (for the love of God!) Hannah! Helen! Anyone! Take over while I run away fro angry people who like this FanFic!**

**Helen: Ugh, Bluemusic09 doesn't own Hetalia.**

**Hannah: She does own me, Helen, Steven (who should die in a hole for trying to rape my brother), and the plot.**

**Steven: _Sorry! _I do have to do that or the story won't make sense!**

**Hannah: Die in a hole when she finishes the FanFic.**

* * *

**"Speech"**

**'Thoughts'**

* * *

Matthew's POV

I woke up next morning in an unfamiliar bed. At first, I freaked out. After a few minutes, I remembered yesterday's events. I shuddered at the thought. Steven almost raping me is not the most pleasant thought in the morning. I get myself ready, them I make my way downstairs. I found Mr. Beilschmidt, Ludwig, and a very sleepy Gilbert eating breakfast it the kitchen. I made myself a bowl of cereal.

It felt nice not having to worry about my dad beating me up while having breakfast but it did felt weird. At least weird in a good way. 'They seem like a nice family.' I thought. 'A family that I will never have.' I must've been making faces because Gilbert noticed.

"Are you okay?" He said. "You look...sad."

"Just...thinking about yesterday," I lied. 'Please buy the story'

"Oh." 'Yes, he bought it' "Anyway, do you know him?"

"Yeah, he's Steven." A cold shiver went down my spine. "He goes to our school."

Gilbert and the other two froze. I froze too, mainly because I was not expecting this reaction. We were engulfed in silence. Not a very comfortable silence.

"He goes to your school?" Mr. Beilschmidt broke the silence. "Do your parents know?" I shook my head, not trusting my voice. "Why not?"

"My mom is dead." I whisper. "My dad doesn't really care me about anymore." 'Which is mostly the truth.'

"That's why you didn't want to go home." Gilbert said in realization. 'I didn't because it isn't my home. It's just the house I live in.'

"This isn't right. Not right at all," Ludwig said. 'Like anything was ever right in my life.'

We were drowned in silence again. This one was less comfortable than the first one. Mr. Beilschmidt checked the clock. "You should hurry up. You're going to be late for school," he said before he left.

When we arrived at the front of the school building, I was scared out of my mind. I really didn't want to lose Gilbert and Ludwig as my friends. Well, if they consider me a friend. If they were like...the bullies then I am totally done for. Then again, I wouldn't be surprised if they started to hate me like the other students and teachers. But it would still hurt me. No one has ever treated me like a human being besides my family.

We made our way to the front door. Gilbert and Ludwig were walking in front of me. As soon as I was in front of that glass door, I froze. 'What if they hate me when they find out? What if they start bullying me like Ivan does? What if they say they are my friends but they're really not? What if-'

"Hey, Matthew, you alright?" Ludwig's voice brought me back into reality.

"O-oui…"

"Doesn't seem like it." The surprisingly younger German studied me. "You aren't sick, are you?"

"I'm f-fine. Really."

"If you say so."

**I gathered enough courage, which wasn't a lot, to walk through those doors and enter the living hell that most people call school. **

* * *

**Blue: I am so sorry! Please don't kill me! I was busy with an English project that I wish it can go to hell.  
Helen: I can do that for you.  
Blue: I need it. I have to turn it in on Monday.  
Hannah: Life is beating you down, huh?  
Blue: More like school is. More specifically, my English teacher.  
****Hannah: 128 views! ****Blue: You're joking! No way! Thank you sooooo much all those people who view my story! I would like some reviews though. To help me become s better author.**


	4. Gilbert 2

**Posted on June 8, 2014 **

**Blue: School's out! YEAH!**

**Hannah: Someone's excited.**

**Blue: This is my longest chapter yet! Hurray!**

**Matthew: You've been watching too much Frozen...**

**Blue: No. I just listened to "Let It Go" in English, Japanese, Chinese, French, Italian, Korean, German, and Spanish.**

**Hannah: *confused* Anyway... Bluemusic09 does not own Hetalia or Frozen or "Let It Go."**

* * *

**Gilbert's POV**

Matthew looked more and more terrified the closer we got to school. He barely could keep himself from shaking in fear. This was worrying me. I know we just met but I care about him. Especially after what he told us. He probably feels abandoned.

"Matthew?" I said when he froze in place again.

"I'm o-okay."

"You sure? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"I-it's noth-thing."

I frowned. He was scared to death by something or someone. He kept looking around as if a monster was going to pop out of nowhere. Maybe he's nervous? Nah, he's been here longer than I have so he must know everyone in here. Maybe he's scared of Steven or whatever his name is. That be reasonable. I mean, he _did _almost got raped by that dude.

"Is it about that Steven guy?" I asked.

He froze again and whispered something that sounded like "I wish."

"What was that?" 'Just to make sure'

"Nothing."

'He's hiding something. That's not a good sign.' "I need to find my locker. I couldn't find it yesterday with all those people surrounding me," I said. "Could you help me find it?"

"O-okay." I told him my locker number. "Your locker is right across mine."

Matthew guided me to my locker. He looked more scared if that was even possible. He didn't say anything to me. He walked over to his locker, opened it, and pulled out stuff from it. Then, out of nowhere, a tall guy closed Matthew's locker harshly. I could see that Matthew was shaking in fear.

'He gets bullied. That explains his strange behavior.' I thought. 'But why does he get bullied?'

"Hey, педик (faggot) ," said the tall. scary dude in a Russian accent. "I see you've been hanging out with the new kid." He chuckled darkly. "Well, I don't think he'll be your friend anymore when he finds out your secret."

"What secret?" I asked the Russian. 'Is it really that bad?'

"Oh? So you haven't told him, Matthew?" Matthew stayed silent. "I'll take that as a нет (no)."

"Who are you?" I said angrily. "And why are you bothering Matthew?"

"Ah, that's true. I haven't introduced myself," he said with a childish smile that really made him more scarier than innocent. "My name's Ivan Braginski and you are?"

"Gilbert Beilschmidt."

"Well, Gilbert, you don't know Matthew's secret yet, right?" I shook my head. "Matthew here is, how do I say it, _homosexual_."

Matthew whimpered at the last word. He turned around and ran away. Ivan's smile grew. I stared at the Russian then at the direction Matthew went.

"He deserves pain for being a faggot. Want to become one with me, da?"

"No," I answered. "I will not become friends with a bully." I slammed my locker shut and stormed off to the direction Matthew went.

I kept walking to an old looking part of the school. It looked abandoned. Perfect place for someone to hide. I kept opened the classroom doors and found nothing but dust and spider webs. I finally decided to give up and started walking back. I passed by the bathrooms and heard someone crying in the boys bathroom.

I pushed the door open and poked my head in. "Matthew?" I said softly. The crying stopped. I stepped inside. I found Matthew curled up under the sink, tears running down his face.

"G...Gilbert?" He stared at me with fear in his eyes.

"Hey, it's okay. I won't hurt you."

He looked at the ground. "You probably hate me anyway… You don't have to pretend to be my friend… I'm used to being alone…"

"I'm not pretending. I really want to be your friend."

"Nobody wants to be my friend," his voice was dripping with venom. "I doubt you really want to be my friend. Just...leave me alone…"

I frowned. I walked over to the sink and sat next to him. Matthew tried to shift away from me but I hugged him before he could. He gasped and tensed as if he's never gotten a hug. I pulled away at arms length and looked at his face. His eyes were wide in shock and his mouth was slightly ajar. He hesitantly wrapped his arms around me. I hugged him again. This time, Matthew relaxed and put his chin on top of my shoulder.

"Don't leave me…I don't…I don't want to be...alone anymore…" Matthew whispered. "Nobody has ever...treated me like a human...besides my family." He whimpered and hid his face in my chest.

"I won't leave you alone," I promised.

"Aren't you...bothered by...my sexuality?" Matthew muffled voice said.

"Nah. I'm bisexual so it's kinda the same, right?"

"I guess…"

We stayed like that, talking about ourselves, until the bell rang. We were surprised that time flew by so fast. We had compared our schedules yesterday and found out that we have almost all of our classes together. First period was the only difference.

We were walking down the hall and I noticed that everyone was staring at us, in a bad way. Matthew moved closer to me. He was looking at the ground, avoiding everyone's stares, well, more like glares. Most of them were glaring at _Matthew_.

"Does-"

"Yeah. They all know." He looked up at me. "That's why I'm a complete loner in here."

* * *

**Blue: It's almost 2 am... **

**Hannah: It took you three hours to write this?**

**Blue: Three hours to write the last 3 fourths of this yeah.**

**Matthew: Should you be asleep?**

**Blue: *sleeping***

**Matthew: Never mind.**


	5. Matthew 3

**Blue: I have updated two times in a month! Yes! Also, ****I made Russia the bully 'cause he's scary. So don't hate me for that 'cause I have my reasons and 'cause this is MY story. I don't expect y'all to like it. **

**Hannah: Y'all? 'Cause? What happened to your grammar?**

**Blue: It's an author's note. My grammar can be bad in those. Not the story.**

**Hannah: Right. **

* * *

**eradragon (guest): I'm glad you like my story! Honestly, I didn't expect people to like it at all. A****nd yes I did get a good grade on my English project. **

* * *

**Matthew's POV**

I don't like walking down the hallway alone. They all glare at me like I've killed someone but wasn't sent to prison. I was vulnerable in the hallways. The bullies could push me around and hurt me without the teachers noticing. Not like they care anyway. Insults could be thrown at me without me knowing who it was. I'd sometimes couldn't keep my feelings in and start crying in the hallways and no one would come to my comfort. In the hallways, I see how lonely I really am.

Walking down the hallway with Gilbert was...comforting. He never left my side or complained when I started to cling onto him. He wrapped a shoulder around me so it would be harder for people to push me around. He let me hide my face in his shoulder to block out the insults. He even _defended _me. No one has ever done that before. _No one. _

When we got to our second period class, I was shaking from the effort of not crying and clinging to Gilbert.

"Are you going to be okay?" Gilbert sounded genuinely worried.

"I-I think s-so." I took deep breaths, trying to calm myself down. "M-merci. It's hard w-walking in the h-hallway alone."

"I get what you mean," Gilbert responded. "Those people are heartless."

"They would just isolate me in Kindergarten. It got worse every year."

"Really? That early?" His eyes soften. "So...you really never had a friend?"

"N-non…" I whimpered. "I've always been a-alone…" My voice cracked. I tighten my grip on Gilbert and let out a quiet sob.

"Well, you won't be alone now 'cause the awesome Gilbert is your friend!"

I sniffed and looked up at him. "I..." I never got to finish my sentence because I started crying on the spot.

"I really need to get used to comforting…."sighed Gilbert,

"I-I'm sorry…" I said in between sniffles.

"It's alright. It's not your fault Ludwig isn't emotional. Not even as a kid."

"O-oh.." I calmed down to an occasional sniffle. "W-we need to g-get to class…"

Gilbert grunted. "Are you _sure_ you're going to be alright?"

"Yeah. I'm sure." I reassured him. "Just...sit next to me?"

"Ja. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't?"

"A bad one?"

We walked inside the classroom and sat in the very back. I sat in the back right corner with Gilbert to my left. I didn't pay much attention in class because it was the first day and all the teachers talk about getting to know each other, rules, and expectations.

"Class!" the teacher practically yelled over the class. "I hope you like where you're sitting because that'll be your seat for the rest of the year unless I move you." Some students groaned.

"Well, I like where I'm sitting," Gilbert whispered. "Next to my best buddy."

I gave a small smile. "Me too."

"Now, let me introduce myself. I am Ms. Scarsdale," the teacher, Ms. Scarsdale, said. "Now, I'm going to take role."

Gilbert's last name was probably the most difficult one for her. It took her five tries to get it right. When she got to my name, I saw her scowl. Everybody in the school probably knows my name and that I'm gay but don't know how I look like.

"So the faggot is in here?" someone asked. People turned around and stare at me. I hid my face with a textbook.

"Class," Mrs. Scarsdale snapped. "Leave him alone. You don't want to become like _him_, do you?"

"What the fuck is wrong with him?" asked an Italian accented boy. "I don't see anything wrong with him, bastardos."

'Definitely one of the new students. Doesn't he have a twin brother?'

"Well, Lovino, this boy, is a _fag_. Fags are sinful." Mrs. Scarsdale replied harshly.

The Italian's jaw dropped and he stared in shock at Mrs. Scarsdale. Gilbert also glared at her. I told him that some teachers weren't going to be so...nice about it. He probably didn't expect to be that harsh.

"You are a messed up teacher," Gilbert growled. He stood up, pulled me out of my chair, and dragged me into the hall. Once we were outside, I realised that I was shaking. "Scheiße, Matthew. How the hell do you manage…" he trailed off.

"I don't know." I choked back a sob. "I don't know...but it hurts…" I felt Gilbert wrapping his arms around me. I leaned against him and somewhat relaxed. I couldn't help but feel like I lost a possible friend. We stood there for a while, in silence, enjoying each others company.

The door suddenly opened and was slammed closed. It made both of us jump.

I saw a brunette-haired boy with a weird curl on the right side of his head and olive-colored eyes filled with rage. He looked like someone shoved something sour down his throat. The Italian boy from earlier.

"Stai bene?" He asked softly which surprised me.

"E-eh?"

"Are you okay?" His eyes showed genuine worry.

"N-not r-really…"

"Bastards…" he muttered. "You shouldn't let the treat you like that."

"He can't do much about it apparently," Gilbert said with anger in his voice.

"C-can we n-not talk a-about it?" I felt myself in the verge of tears.

Lovino gave me an apologetic look. Gilbert sighed and rubbed my back in circles. I let tears run down my face but didn't make a sound beside sniffling. Lovino stood there probably feeling three of us just stood there in silence.

"The bell is about to ring," I said when I looked at the clock in the hall,"we need to get our stuff."

* * *

**Blue: Well, I'm leaving on Sunday, June 29, to go to Washington STATE. Not D.C., STATE.**

**Matthew: When are you coming back?**

**Blue: NEVER!**

**Hannah: WHAT?!**

**Blue: Just kidding. I'm coming back on July 13. Oh, and the I used Google Translate. If the translations are wrong blame Google Translate.**


	6. Gilbert 3

****Blue: I finished it! *sigh* ****

****Hannah: Yay! Chapter 6!****

****Helen: ...I'm supposed to cheer?****

****Hannah: Yup.****

****Helen: *monotone* Yay. ****

****Hannah: WHY ARE YOU SO EMOTIONLESS! *flips table and leaves room*****

****Blue: Hey! I JUST cleaned my room!****

****Helen: *still monotone* Blue doesn't own Hetalia. Only Hannah, me, and the bastard named Steven.****

****Blue: He doesn't appear in this chapter, Helen.****

****Helen: Who the fuck cares. ****

* * *

****LittleMissMaple: To make it clear to everyone, I do not hate Russians. I used Russia as the bully because my imagination didn't want to create an OC to be the bully. Also, I was half asleep and I didn't realize it until I was about to post the chapter. ****

****gilbird5: u Okay. I'll try to continue this story.****

****vellymymare: I'm glad you like it!****

* * *

****Gilbert's POV****

Lovino and Matthew surprisingly got along with each other. Matthew looked like he was enjoying himself greatly. Since we had nothing to do in our class we just talked to get to know each other.

Lovino, obviously, came from Italy and has a younger brother that looks like his twin. His cursing is natural, apparently, and he _LOVES _tomatoes. Reminds me of a certain Spaniard I know. His Opa...Nonno...Grandpa…(Oh fuck it...they all mean the same thing…) favors Feliciano according to Lovino.

"I swear haven't we met before albino bastard?"

"I guess… I remember my brother befriending an Italian girl that kind of looks like Felli and she had an older brother who had a potty mouth pretty much like yours."

Lovino's eyes widened. "Potato Bastard Number Two?"

"Yeah. That's what he-" I paused, trying to process what he said. "So then we _have _met before. Why was Feli dressed like a girl?"

"I don't know! I don't understand the idiota of my fratello at times."

"You guys know each other…?"

"We only met once. In a party...right? I don't fucking know but we never saw each other after that."

"Yeah… it was a costume party because I remember being dressed as a knight of some sort."

"It's…a weird coincidence….that you guys ended up in the same school."

"A fucking weird one."

"Whatever. I'm still awesome."

Lovino and Matthew face palmed in perfect sync.

Then it was Matthew's turn to talk about himself. He's Canadian. He liked to make pancakes and loved to drown them in Maple syrup. He is good at drawing and painting. He likes to play hockey which was a little (read: very) unexpected. He has a younger sister, Hannah, that he wouldn't tell us anything about besides her name and an older brother, Alfred, which he hasn't heard of in a while. He never mentioned his parents. Not even once. His tone seem guarded like he still didn't completely trust us.

"You don't get along with or parent or something because you didn't mentioned them, pancake bastard."

"I...M-my mom...sh-she's not in the l-living world a-anymore…"

"Oh...I, uh, didn't...Io sono come un idiota."(I am such an idiot)

"I don't understand Italian but I'm guessing you called yourself an idiot. The 'idiota' gave it away."

"Shut up! Nobody asked you!"

"I-it's okay… You didn't know…"

"It's the awesome me's turn!" I told that I only have my bruder and my vati. My mutti died shortly after giving birth to Ludwig. I don't remember her very well. I told them that I like wrust and potatoes. Thought a certain Italian already knew. Then I told them how awesome I am.

"I'm Prussian. For a lot of people, East German."

"...Okay?"

"Potato Bastard, you are weirder than hell."

"I'm awesome and you know it."

"Whatever, bastard."

"...I made weird friends…."

BRIIIIIIIING!

Lovino and I jumped in surprise. That bell is too loud. Matthew giggled at our reactions.

"That fucking bell. So where to now, Maple Bastard?" asked Lovino after cursing out the bell.

"It's...um...lunch time…" Matthew paled. "I...uh...don't...um.. eat in the cafeteria."

"So...you bring your own lunch?" I asked.

"Oui…"

"Where the hell do you eat?

"I'll show you. I really don't want to find another hiding spot."

* * *

"So where the hell are you taking us?"

"To the roof. Nobody comes up here so I come up here when I don't want them to find me."

"It isn't locked? I would expect the roof to be locked."

"Surprisingly, it isn't." Matthew opened the door to the roof. "See?"

We all walked up the stairs and we were finally outside. The weather was nice. The sun was in the sky, there was a gentle breeze now and then, and it wasn't too hot. On the roof, you could see the scenery. The school garden, the trees, the road , the cars, etc.

"Nice," I said. "So are we gonna eat or what?"

"Shut up, Potato Bastard."

Matthew smiled. "It's nice to have friends."

* * *

*Time skip to October because I can*

Matthew, Lovi, Feli, Ludwig and I became very close friends. We would eat our lunch on the roof and share random stories or talk about random stuff. Outside of the roof (well, technically inside but you know what I mean...), we never left Matthew completely alone. He was always with one of us.

Well...maybe except that time when shit happened but it was only once! It was the teachers fault anyway… Wait...Off topic.

"Ve~ Did everyone hear? We're getting new students today!" Feli said when we were walking to school.

"Si, idiota, we heard. We do have fucking ears like you, Feli," Lovino said being the grumpy ass he is.

"Wait...it's today?" Matthew said in surprise. " Maple… I really need to start paying attention to the calendar…"

I glanced at Birdie and noticed something was off. "Have you been sleeping well? You look tired, Birdie."

Ludwig looked at Matthew and said,"Ja, bruder is right."

"Just...nightmares…I really don't want to talk about it."

We didn't press on the topic. Instead, we talked about the new students. They were five in total. Well…at least according to what we heard. They were all foreign exchange students. That rumor was confirmed by the teachers yesterday.

By the time we got to school, there was crowd in the entrance. The new students were in the middle of the circle of people. The thing that I found weird is that they were seven, not five. Wonder what's up with that. We got closer to the crowd and I heard a gasp. I turned around to see Matthew's shocked face.

"What's wrong, Matteo?" Feli asked.

"The girl...she looks a lot like my sister…"

I looked at the only girl in the group of new students. She had black, wavy shoulder-length hair, green eyes, and pale skin. She was almost as pale as me and that's saying something. She had that weirdo curl Matthew had hanging on front of her face. In a way, she did seem to look like Matthew.

"She does look like you in a way," Ludwig said.

"How the hell does she look like your sister?" Lovino asked. "Wait. I never fucking met her. Never mind."

"Ve~ She's pretty."

"She has a similar curl," I said.

"I know that," Matthew sighed. "I never told you much about my sister, did I?"

We all shook our heads. He only told us her name. Every time we asked about her, he avoided the topic no matter what. It was like talking about her was taboo. After a week, we gave up asking about her. Matthew seemed more relaxed when we guessed something bad happened to her.

"I'll tell you during lunch, okay? I…" Matthew trailed off. "...I never talked…about this topic to anyone."

Matthew talked more quieter than usual. He was probably going to share something very personal about her. Something bad happened to her. I sense it. Hell, I think we all sensed it.

But...it can't be that bad...or can it?

* * *

**Blue: I hope this isn't a bad chapter. I kinda got distracted by HetaOni...**

**Hannah: Kinda?**

**Blue: A LOT. HetaOni is addicting. **

**Helen: Then you watched Dangantalia.**

**Blue: *chuckles nervously* I get distracted easily...**

**Hannah: Whatever. Reviews are appreciated!**

**Helen: Corrections too.**

**Blue: BYE~**


	7. Whose POV?

**Blue: 11 favorites and 21 followers... 0_0 I never thought that was going to happen... I'M SO HAPPY! **

**America: *starts playing "Happy"***

**Blue: *brings out chainsaw* NOPE! *destroys the stereo* **

**Hannah: It's called anger management. *sweat drop***

**Blue: Shut up. You would do the same if you had to heard that song every day, for three weeks, for 45 minutes on loop.**

**America: And why would you?**

**Blue: I didn't have a choice! They were practicing for the concert! And I had to stay in the choir room to help around! ANYWAY, THIS CHAPTER IS MEANT TO BE SHORT! Okay? **

**Hannah: Blue doesn't own Hetalia! Just me, Helen, Marcus, Javier, Jaime, and the plot! ENJOY! ^.^**

* * *

**EDIT (I'm sorry. I didn't see your review until I posted this chapter yesterday. Please forgive my stupidity)**

**MayaLuna34: I'm glad you like it! Here. *pushes a very confused Matthew towards you* Now you can hug him. Just give him back 'cause I need him for the story, 'kay? **

* * *

****? POV****

New school. New people. New town. Well….. Not really. I've been here. Hell, I _lived _ difference about me coming back is that...I'm not going to be _me_. I have to change my name. I have to wear colored contacts. I had to cut my hair. I had to change my style of clothes. Practically everything about me had to change.

After what happened that day, I've been staying with Marcus. Mostly because I couldn't run away. I wasn't the only one that had to stay with him. Marcus isn't my dad, he's my kidnapper. At least he isn't any worse than my real father.

I sighed and put my head in my hands in the kitchen table. "I can't do this, Jaime. I can't." My voice cracked.

"Hey, no llores.(Don't cry) I know you can. I'll be there with you," replied Jaime, or rather Javier.

Jaime's real name is Javier Hernandez Martinez. Since we're kidnapped teens, Marcus made us change a lot about ourselves. That includes our names. We chose names that were somewhat similar to our real names. Now time to introduce this guy.

Javier is from Mexico. He moved to the U.S, _legally,_. when he was two years old. He was kidnapped, like me. He has black hair that has a blue tinge to it. He has a piece of hair that proudly defies the laws of gravity and one of the hais in his bangs curls upward. He has brown eyes that remind me of hot chocolate (Oh great. I'm making myself hungry).

"I don't even know if he's dead or alive, Jaime! And if he is, will he recognize me? Will he-?"

"Ay, ay. ay! Helen! Me estas volviendo loco con tus preguntas!" (You're driving me crazy with you questions!) "You've been asking those same, exact questions for _weeks_! I don't know the answers to your questions!"

"...Helen is not my real name."

"Whatever, chica. We need to get going o vamos a llegar tarde." (Or we're going to be late/arrive late)

* * *

***time skip to school***

Javier and I were surrounded by students along the other new student. I'm actually surprised no one has recognized me yet. Man, estan ciegos. (They're blind.) The French dude kept saying a bunch of very, very perverted stuff to me in, well, French.

"Evadez-vous de moi ou je vais trancher la gorge," I said with a sarcastic caring voice.

His eyes widened and scrambled to his Spaniard friend. I guess he wasn't used to girls threatning him.

"Que le dijistes?" (What did you tell him?)

"I told him 'Get away from me or I will slit your throat,'" I respond casually.

"Estas loca, Helen." (You're crazy.)

I was about to retort back when I saw him. My brother. I made a weird choking sound. 'He's alive! Thank the Lord! Merde… (Shit) He's going to have a heart attack when he finds out it's me... This just got a whole lot harder than it's supposed to be...'

Javier followed my gaze. "Es tu hermano?" (Is that your brother?)

I nodded and turned to look at him. "Yeah…"

"Well, Helen, it's time to go through this hell called school!" Javier took my arm and dragged me inside as if nothing happened. Damn, he's a great actor.

"Stop pulling me like I'm a three year old, Jaime!" I yelled in annoyance. Stupid Javier and his antics.

Oh...I haven't introduced myself have I? My bad.

Hi, I'm Hannah and welcome to my life.

* * *

**Blue: As I said before, this chapter is meant to be short! Please no hate. I didn't want to reveal that much.**

**Hannah: Yay! I'm still alive! Using my 2p's name but still alive! ^.^**

**Javier (Mexico OC): **** And I was introduced to the story! Okay, where are my tacos?**

**Jaime (2p!Mexico): Who cares about your tacos.**

**Blue: Um... Review and corrections are appreciated. **

**Hannah: BYE~**

**Javier and Jaime: *fighting in the background***


	8. Matthew 4

**Blue: School. That is my only explanation for this being posted right now. Be grateful 'cause I had to get myself somewhat depressed to write this. I just listened to sad/dark songs and voila! I'm depressed enough to write this. **

**Hannah: This chapter is LOOOOOOONG.**

**Blue: Longer than I expected.**

**Javier: ...Longest chapter yet.**

**Blue: Yet. It took me all of my free time to do this and it wasn't a lot this past month (August). **

**IT MIGHT BE VERY DEPRESSING. I ALMOST MADE MYSELF CRY BUT I KEPT IT IN SO I COULD KEEP WRITTING. IT MIGHT BE DEPRESSING. DON'T TELL ME I DIDN'T WARN YOU!**

* * *

**Matthew's POV**

The bell rang for lunch. My stomach uneasily churned. I'm going to tell them about Hannah. Honestly, I really don't want to because I don't want to end up in a sobbing mess. Just thinking about it…. make me depressed.

"You know, I liked it better when our schedules were 'messed up,'" Gilbert whined. "Now, we have to walk across the school to get to our lunch spot."

"Stop complaining, albino bastard. It's annoying." Lovino barked.

"Gilbert, stop whining. Please?" I said.

"Fine. But I'm only doing it because you asked nicely, unlike a certain Italian."

"Fuck you."

Let me explain about that schedule change Gilbert mentioned.

Apparently the computer system messed up some students schedules and some of those students were us. I have most of my classes with either Lovino or Gilbert, only one with both. Only one class without them which is art with Feli. The only class we all share is Phys Ed. At least I don't have any classes alone.

When the three of us got to the roof, Feli and Ludwig were already there. They had started eating without us.

"I'm sorry. I was hungry and I wanted pasta so we started eating without you. Ve."

"It's alright, Feli. It's not like you murdered someone," Gilbert joked.

I winced. 'That was some cruel irony.'

" Ve! Matteo! Are you going to tell us about your sorella?"

My head snapped upwards and I found three pairs of eyes staring at me. "Uh, y-yeah."

Lovino frowned. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Just…. uncomfortable."

"You sure? You look pale," Gilbert said.

"I'm fine!"

"If you say so. Just, don't fucking faint on us or something."

"Or puke."

"Bruder, we're eating! Dummkopf!"

"Let Matteo start, Potato Bastards!"

They all became quiet, waiting for me to start. I took a shaky breath before opening my mouth to tell the night where I lost two loved ones.

* * *

*FLASHBACK*

Mom, Hannah, and I were in our house. Mom was cooking dinner while Hannah and I were playing that Sonic racing game. Alfred was at a football practice and "Dad" was probably out drinking again. It was pretty relaxing not having "Dad" home. (I excluded the "Dad' gone out drinking" part.)

Hannah looked like a photocopy of Mom. Same black hair, same blue eyes, same strange curl. The difference was that Hannah inherited "Dad's" wavy hair and their style of clothes. Mom usually wore dresses and skirts and Hannah prefered jeans and shorts. Mom liked light color and Hannah liked dark colors.

Anyway, Hannah was beating my ass with Shadow. Stupid black hedgehog and his motorcycle. Poor Sonic and I kept losing to them. We were about to start another race when suddenly there was a loud knock on the door.

"I'll get it, sweeties. You guys go back to your racing."

"You mean Shadow beating Sonic's ass~" Hannah said.

"Whatever, I'm still better than you in Call of Duty," I retorted.

"...Damn you."

Mom opened the door and three men with masks pushed their way in. Mom was shocked at first but quickly snapped out of it.

"Excuse me, sirs, but you can't just come in like that," she said firmly.

They all pulled guns out. Each one of them pointing a gun at one of us. Hannah and I dropped our Wii controllers in fear and shock. Mom looked over at us in horror.

"Please, don't hurt my babies," she begged.

"Shut the hell up." The one with a green mask snarled. He shot her in the arm. Mom just whimpered and fell to her knees.

Hannah opened her mouth as if to scream but barely managed not to. My voice wouldn't work. I couldn't move. I was too scared.

"Now, where's your father, girlie?" The brown-masked one said.

"...He…..he w-went out…. I don't kn-know where…."

"Do you know, boy?"

"N-non… No, I d-don't."

"What do we fucking do?" The black mask asked.

"You brats, go sit next to your mother," Brown mask ordered.

We quickly scurried next to her, guns still pointing at us. Mom was clutching her arm, trying to stop the blood from spilling. Hannah clung to my arm for

comfort. I took my hoodie off and wrapped it around Mom's arm.

'She can't die. She can't. Who will take care of Alfred, Hannah, and I? "Dad" won't give a shit about about us.' I thought. 'What do they want anyway?'

"Search the house, I'll watch them," green mask said.

The other two threw our belonging to the floor, occasionally breaking stuff that looked that it could hold something inside. We could hear things being broken and thrown in other rooms. They came back to the living room and shook their heads.

Hannah raised her hand slightly.

"What do you want, girl?" brown mask said.

"Wh-what a-are you looking for? If you d-don't mind m-me asking…" Hannah stuttered.

"Money that your father owes us." green mask replied coldly.

"Money?" Mom, Hannah, and I asked simultaneously. 'We barely have enough to eat...'

"Yeah. Money. Where is it?" black masked growled.

We glanced at each other. We all had the same silent question. 'Where was it if he had any?'

"We don't know where it is. We didn't even know he owed money." Mom said, sonding completely calm when she actually wasn't.

Green mask laughed coldly. "Do you think I'm that stupid? Let me tell you that I'm smarter than you think." He chuckled darkly as he looked at Hannah and me. "You have some cute brats. Too bad both of them will die."

"No!" Mom yelled. "Don't! I'll do anything! Just don't hurt them!"

Green mask probably smirked under the mask. "Oh, really? Where is the money then?"

"I don't know! I swear it on my life!"

"Black. Shoot the boy." Green mask ordered.

"NO!" I heard two voices shout in pure horror.

Two gunshots were heard.

I remember being shoved to the side, searing pain in my leg, and a hit in the head from the lovely coffee table. I passed out soon after.

* * *

*PRESENT*

I hid my face with my hands. Tears were running down my face. It hurt talking about that day. I never told anyone about it. Except the police. They needed the only witness.

I felt two arms wrap around me. I hugged back, not even bothering to check who it was, and buried my head in his chest. The other three joined soon after. They pulled away once I calmed down.

"Are you feeling better?" Lovino asked. He was the one who hugged me first.

"O-oui… a bit…" I took a shaky breath.

"Matthew… I can't believe you went through that…" Gilbert said. I noticed that he used my name and not my nickname, Birdie. I don't know why he calls me that but I like it.

"I don't know what I would do if that happened to me and fratello…" Feli's eyes held sadness. His usual happy sparkle was gone.

"It must be hard living like that. Remembering everything." Ludwig sadly said.

"Oui…. Remembering everything as if it was yesterday…" I mumbled to myself.

"...When did this happen? If you don't mind."

"Two years ago. Two weeks before Hannah's birthday. November 22." I sighed dejectedly. "I didn't finish telling about what happened."

"You don't have to, Matteo!" Feli exclaimed.

"I, kind of, want to. You guys are the first ones to hear about this. Except the police, of course. It feels...nice getting this off my chest."

"If you want to, don't let the Potato Bastards, my stupid fratellino, and me stop you, Matteo."

"Okay…?"

* * *

*FLASHBACK*

I woke up with the light blinding me. I groaned at the brightness. I couldn't feel anything.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

'That sound… What is it?' My eyes finally focused. I was in a white room, hooked up to some machines. 'Hospital. Why am I here?'

"Mattie! You're awake!" I turned around and saw Alfred sitting in a chair next to me. "I was so worried about you. Does anything hurt? Are you hungry?"

"Alfred… why am I here?"

Alfred face fell. "You don't remember? Anything?"

"I don't kno-" the memories flooded in like a broken dam. "Where are they?"

"Mom...didn't make it to the hospital. Hannah….simply disappeared."

"What do you mean by 'simply disappeared?'"

"They couldn't find her body." Alfred took my hand. "No traces. It's like she wasn't even there."

"What happened? I should've died. The leader ordered his men to kill me."

"From the looks of it, Mom pushed you out of the way and got shot in the back. You hit your head with the damn coffee table and passed out. Hannah was, apparently, shot too. Her blood was there. After that, the police is not sure," he said with his voice cracking.

I stared at the ceiling. 'Where is Hannah? Is she still alive? Do those guys have her?' Alfred gave a gentle squeeze on my hand. 'At least Alfred is here…'

"I was so scared, Al," I tears were making a presence,"So scared. I didn't know what to do."

I let out a sob. "I'm probably the only one who survived. It's not fair. I should've died." Alfred pulled me into a hug. "I was supposed to die. Not Mom. Not Hannah. I was." I clung to Alfred and sobbed even harder.

"It wasn't your fault, bro. Don't blame yourself. Nobody wanted this to happen." Alfred said, trying to comfort me. "It wasn't your fault. Go to sleep. We'll figure this out later. Just go to sleep."

I did. Not because Alfred told me, it was because I cried myself to sleep. That night I had a nightmare, a flashback of everything that happened. The memory was on loop for the first month. I would barely eat by myself, I couldn't sleep alone, and I would cry at everything little thing that reminded me of either Mom or Hannah.

* * *

"..."

"I know…it's depressing…."

"It's depressing as fuck, Matteo."

"Even more unawesomer than hell.."

"Very depressing."

"It's like a pasta made by a bad cook."

"..."

"What? That's the most depressing thing about pasta I can think of."

* * *

**Blue: Please don't kill me. I really don't like making Mattie suffer but I have to or there's no story.**

**Matthew: *sigh* Please don't kill Blue. She really worked hard on this.**

**Hannah: How did you even come up with this?**

**Blue: I don't know. It just happened, I guess. Oh, by the way, "that Sonic racing game" is called Sonic and Sega All-Stars Racing. I was thinking Mario Karts at first but I like Sonic better so...yeah. **

**Matthew: The name's too long.**

**Blue: That is exactly why I called it "that Sonic racing game." Mostly because I forgot and was too lazy to look for it.**

**Matthew: Oh. **

**Blue: Corrections are appreciated. Used Google Translate for translations. Bye. 'till next time. Adios.**


	9. Hannah

**Blue: I'm sorry! I know this is late! School has been keeping me very busy.**

**Hannah: CHAPTER NINE :3**

**Javier: *singing some random song in Spanish***

**Blue: ...Out. Unless you're here to do the disclaimers.**

**Javier: *pouts* Fine. Blue doesn't own Hetalia. She only owes me, Hannah, Helen, that Steven dude, and my 2p.**

**Helen: *covered in blood* You forgot the guy who has you and Hannah captured in the story.**

**Javier: Oh yeah. And that dude.**

**Blue: *facepalm* I'm pretty sure his name is Marcus or something.**

* * *

**Hannah's POV**

_This couldn't be possibly happening. It couldn't. I was too scared to do anything. I felt pathetic. Am I really that useless? Am I really so pathetic that I can even move to save my own family members from getting hurt? So scared that I obeyed their orders for them not kill me? _

_Blood. So much blood. It was coming from my mother. My dying mother. Blood was coming from my brother's leg. Why were they hurt? Why? Why only them and not me? Why was I spared? Why couldn't I do something useful?_

"_Get up, girl."_

_I could barely register anything. I was numb. I couldn't feel anything but sorrow and grief. Two of the most important people for me were injured and probably dying. _

"_I said get up!" _

_Pain shot through my arm. I gave out a cry of pain. Blood oozed from the bullet wound. The blood ran down my arm like a red river. My clamped my hand on the injury and tried to make the bleeding stop. Of course it was useless. It hurt more than anything that I have ever felt before. _

"_Just pick her up. It's too much trauma for her."_

_I felt a hand pull me to my feet. A fabric was wrapped around my bleeding injury. Then I was pulled into a van. Every was like a blur. It felt like waking up from a good dream and going to a cruel reality. The scene repeated itself over and over again like a song stuck on loop. A very depressing song. _

* * *

I bolted in a sitting position. My eyes were wide and my breathing was a bit uneven. I was shaking like a leaf and tears were running down my face. I brought up my knees to my chest and starting rocking myself back and forth.

The mattress sank down as new weight was set there. "Hannah?" I recognized owner of the voice immediately. "Was it the dream again?"

I nodded. He pulled me into a hug. I let out all of the tears that I didn't know I was holding. He rocked me back and forth like I was child.

"A la roro niña

A lo roro ya

Duérmete mi niña

Duérmete mi amor.

Esta niña linda

Que nació de mañana,

Quiere que la lleven

A pasear en carcacha.

Esta niña linda

Que nació de día

Quiere que la lleven

A la dulcería

Este niña

Que nació de noche

Quiere que la lleven

A pasear en coche.

Esta niña linda

Se quiere dormir,

Y el pícaro sueño

No quiere venir.

Este niña linda

Que nació de noche

Quiere que la lleven

A pasear en coche."

"I'm not a kid, Javier."

"I know but it does calm you down."

"Yeah… even though it sound like I'm your child."

"I'm _sorry. _It's not my fault it goes like that."

"Calm down, Javi. I'm just saying."

"Fine. Ahora, a dormir.." (Now go to sleep.)

"That sounds like a good plan."

* * *

***NEXT DAY***

"DESPIERTATE, FLOJA!" (WAKE UP, SLEEPYHEAD!)

I jolted awake and fell to the floor, tangled in my bed sheets.

"You look like a messed up burrito," snickered Javier.

"Shut up, Javi." I groaned in pain. "Thanks for the help."

"Ha, ha. You're very welcome."

I untangled myself from the sheets and started to get ready. We needed to leave before Marcus wakes up or we would be screwed. I quickly took a shower, changed, brushed my hair, eat a loaf of bread and milk, brush my teeth, grab my school stuff, and left the house.

The trees had a beautiful mix of orange, red, yellow, and brown. The sky was blue with white, puffy clouds here and there. The sunlight gave warmth. A cool breeze would come every once in a while. It was a nice day of autumn.

Javier and I weren't let out that much on the last place we were in. We didn't even know where we were. The only thing I knew is that we were in a barn house in the middle of nowhere. My skin was got so pale for not receiving enough sunlight. I looked like a ghost, for goodness sake!

I saw Matthew when we arrived to school. He would stare at me, probably remembering that night that changed both of our lives. It hurt me seeing his eyes full of pain and grief. That I couldn't tell him it was actually me. That I didn't die that night like the rumors said so. That I missed him and loved him.

I wanted to say so many thing but couldn't say a damn thing.

On the first day, student told me rumors of my disappearance/"death." They even nick named me as "Nirvana" which means "disappearance." Rumors said that Nirvana's and her mother's (Am I really saying this in third person?) screams of terror could still be heard at the crime scene. Both of the murdered women were trapped on a time loop. Their souls were to be tortured over and over again until the killers were captured or died. Another rumor said that Nirvana had died first and her soul tried to protect her mother and brother but only managed to save her brother.

The rumors gave me a headache. Is this really what people come up with? I knew people were going to make stuff up but not _this _crazy. Anyway, back to the story.

I separated from Javier, or should I say Jaime, and made my way to class to be bored to death.

"Kon'nichiwa, Helen."

"Oh, hey, Kiku." Kiku is a Japanese transfer student. He came with me and the other new students.

"You look sad. What's wrong?"

"I'd rather not talk about it. It's too painful to talk about. It's in the past anyway. It doesn't really matter."

"If you don't want to talk about it, it's fine. I won't force you."

"So who were the new friends you made yesterday?"

"Ludwig and Feliciano?"

"The bubbly Italian dude and that tall German dude? I think."

"Hai. The bubbly Italian is Feliciano and Ludwig is the tall German."

"Okay. I know his brother, Lovino. They're completely different personality-wise. It's kinda creepy."

"I haven't talked to Lovino yet."

"Don't. He's rude to anyone. Especially Antonio. The Spanish kid."

"Hai. I noticed. Didn't he try to…"

"Nah. That was his French friend. Francis." I sighed. "I don't think he gets the message to leave me the fuck alone."

Kiku shook his head playfully. "Watch your language, Helen. You're going to get a detention one of these days."

I scoffed. "Tell _tha_t to Lovino."

"Īe. He will kill me with his foul language."

"True, true. Don't die. You have so much to live for."

"So do you."

"I know that. I mean, I still need to graduate college and buy a polar bear and a penguin to fulfill my dreams."

BRIIIIIIIIIIING!

"Penguin and polar bear?"

"Yep! And a lion."

"You are special."

"You can call me crazy. I'm not offended."

* * *

**Javier: ...You are random.**

**Hannah: I know. **

**Blue: I want a polar bear as a pet. I really do. I have always had a thing for polar bears and has gotten worse because of a certain Canadian.**

**Matthew: I had nothing to do with this.**

**Blue: I know. Just a random coincidence.**

**Javier: No entendí. (I didn't understand)**

**Hannah: Idiot.**

**Javier: Hey!**

* * *

**Here's the translation of the lullaby that Javi sang. Also, the website I found the "Nirvana" thing. I was bored and came across this. ** ** www. /ghost_names_spirit_ ****  
**  
****

Lullaby baby

Lullaby now.

Sleep my baby,

Sleep my love.

This pretty baby

Who was born in the morning,

Wants to be taken

For a jalopy ride.

This sweet baby

Who was born during the day,

Wants to be taken

To the candy shop.

This pretty baby

Who was born at night,

Wants to be taken

For a stroller ride.

This pretty baby

Wants to sleep

But the naughty sleep

Doesn't want to come.

This pretty baby

Who was born at night,

Wants to be taken

For a stroller ride.


	10. MatthewHannah

**Blue: I'M SORRY! I KNOW THIS IS VERY LATE BUT I TRIED MY BEST! SORRY FOR ANY MISTAKES! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE STUDYING FOR FINALS TOMORROW BUT I DID THIS INSTEAD. PLEASE COMMENT IF YOU SEE ANY MISTAKES, AND I'LL FIX THEM. **

**I DON'T OWN HETALIA. ONLY HANNAH, HELEN, JAVIER, JAIME, AND THE PLOT.**

* * *

**vellymymare: I was tired and stressed from school and my head wasn't really there. Sorry, if I confused anyone else. **

* * *

Matthew's POV

I quietly let myself into the kitchen through the back door, hoping that my father, didn't hear me. I quietly locked the door and made my way to my room as quietly as I could. I was nearing the staircase that lead upstairs to my room.

'So close, I'm so close. Just need to go upstairs and into my room. So close.'

Unfortunately, luck wasn't on my side today.

"Where do you think you're going, boy?"

I jumped in fear which caused me to trip and land in my face. I held my face in pain and checked that my jaw wasn't broken. The pain disoriented me enough to make me forget the cause of my fear.

"Answer me!"

I flinched. "I-I was g-going to my r-room…" I looked up to see the cold blue eyes of my father. I could see the raging fire in his eyes.

He grunted. "Alright. Then, where were you earlier?"

I felt blood draining from my face. "I was o-out…"

His face went red in rage. He pulled me up by my hair and slammed me into the wall. I whimpered. "With who and where?" he whispered into my ear.

"A-alone and to r-return a l-library b-book." It was partly the truth. I wasn't alone and after that we went to grab a drink.

"You're a disgrace." He threw me to the floor and started to kick me. "You can't return a fucking book without being late." At this point I was already curled up into a ball. "Maybe if you weren't so slow, your mother and sister could still be alive."

'No. Not them. Don't mention them. I don't want to remember. Don't make me remember. Don't make me relive the pain. The fear. The hopelessness. Their deaths. NE ME FAIS PAS ME SOUVIENS!' (Don't make me remember!)

Suddenly, the kicking stopped. "Oh, did I bring you bad memories?" He let out a dark chuckle. "My bad." He walked away laughing.

I stayed curled up in the ground, welcoming the waves of pain. The physical pain was better than the emotional pain. The physical pain always distracted me from my emotional pain but it didn't last as much as I wanted to.

I groaned in pain as I tried to pick myself up. I limped to my room, locking the door, and made my way to the bathroom connected to my room. I slid down to the floor, feeling my throat constricting. I felt like there was a pit of darkness in my chest. It didn't hurt as much as the beatings that I endured but it lasted longer.

A wave of mixed emotions hit me full force. Sorrow. Anger. Despair. Regret. Loneliness. Self-loathe. Anxiety. I felt crowded on the inside. Too crowded. The emotions were too much. Too much. I frantically picked at the scabs that I made on myself.

I opened the cabinet under the sink and took out a small, white box. I opened the said box and took out a cool blade and a rag. I blanked out, you could say. I didn't like cutting in my arms where someone -mainly my friends- could see them. Still, I couldn't help myself. Maybe I was too frantic to notice.

It didn't take long for me notice what I was doing. I looked the rivers of blood oozing from my cuts. I stared at them in slight horror and fascination. I wiped off the blood with the rag and grabbed some bandages and peroxide from the cabinet.

After wrapping myself up, I lay in my bed wondering why I liked the pain that I inflict on myself. I didn't want to die. Cuts like these sure stung but they couldn't kill me. Unless, of course, if I cut deep enough. I shuddered at the thought.

"Don't think like that," I scolded myself. "Just get some sleep, Matthew. It's not like you have anything else to do…" I sighed sadly and tried fall asleep.

* * *

*next morning*

I woke up from a restless sleep. Another nightmare. I couldn't save them. So much blood came out of their bodies that it almost seemed impossible.

A loud snore brought me back to Earth. I jumped out of bed and almost immediately felt pain. 'How the hell do you forget something like that?' I changed quickly, moved around, lifted various things to get used to the pain. Nobody can find out. I must stay here until Alfred comes back when I'm old enough.

"If I live long enough."

I opened the door and quickly dashed out of the house. I couldn't risk getting caught by him in the morning. Last time I got caught, I went to the hospital saying that a gang attacked me.

* * *

Hannah's POV

"I just don't get why no one helps him," I rapidly said. "I mean, I know a lot of the don't like homosexual people but they don't approve the bullying. I certainly don't!"

"Okay, first of all, slow down, chica. Second, they're, probably, all scared of whoever this Ivan is. Third, you're going to drive yourself insane like this." Javier replied calmly.

"Dude, I may be crazy but I am not stupid," I snapped. A sigh escaped my lips. "But you do have a point."

"Relajate. Cuando te pones tensa, no piensas correctamente." (Relax. When you get tense, you don't think correctly.)

"Callate." I glared at him. (Shut up.) "Like I said before, I am crazy, not stupid."

He held up his hands in surrender. "Okay,okay. No te enojes." (Don't get mad)

I rolled my eyes. "Anyway, if Ivan messes with him again I'll shove a hockey stick, a baseball bat, and tennis racquet up his ass that he won't be able to sit for years."

Javier winced. "Eso debe de doler…" (That must hurt…)

"That's the point."

* * *

*at school*

"You know Matthew, people would like you if you weren't the piece of trash you are," said a voice that I really didn't want to hear.

"..."

"What was that?"

"..."

"Speak a little louder Matthew."

"...Ineverplannnedtobethisway…"

"Did you really? Well, you can always change, you know."

"...I….can't….."

"Hm? And why not?"

"..."

"Why not?" He said more firmly.

"..."

Ivan grabbed Matthew's hair and pulled him up, making Matthew cry out in pain. "Why not, Matthew?"

"Leave him alone!" said a voice. Everyone stared at my direction. I blinked. The voice was mine.

Ivan looked straight at me. "What did you say, little girl?"

"Leave him alone, you Russian asshole." I said taking a step toward him on each syllable.

He raised an eyebrow at me and let go of Matthew's hair. He was taller than be by like one foot. Doesn't sound like much but he looked like a freaking skyscraper to me. Javier pulled Matthew away from us.

"Why do you care of that gay piece of trash?"

"Dude, for all you know I could be a lesbian."

"Are you?"

"No but I do know how to fight."

He stared at me coldly, and I glared back. After what seemed like years, he said, "I don't fight girls." He walked away as if nothing happened. I won.

"Um, thanks…" I turned around to face Matthew. "You really didn't have to…" He looked very flustered.

"Amigo, she did that because she wanted to," Javier said. "It's very hard to stop her once she sets her mind onto something,"

"And because someone needs to teach that bastard that he doesn't always have the power." I looked at Matthew in the eye, "He has power because you and everyone else in this school give him power." I smiled. "Anyway~ I'm Helen."

"Uh, Matthew."

"Jaime." Javier face went pale. "Wait, Matthew as in the kid who lost a sister that looks like Helen?"

Matthew nodded and sheepishly rubbed his neck. "This is awkward…"

"Yeah…" 'Especially since I AM your sister' "Jaime, you just had to make this awkward."

"Hey, I'm sorry." He chuckled nervously. "It's a talent."

Matthew opened his mouth to talk but I didn't let him start

"In all of our past schools he always says something weird. It usually drives people away."

Matthew blinked. "That answers my question and don't worry. I have weird friends."

* * *

**Blue: I'm sorry if it's bad. I made it long to make up for the time that I didn't update. I write all the chapters as I go. I do have an outline for this but that's it. Please forgive me if this is bad. **


	11. HannahMatthew

**Blue: So, um, I have no good excuse for this. Well, besides school. I'm sorry if this sucks. I tried. **

**Purple(2p!Blue): The dumbass has been forgetting that she has a story.**

**Blue: And that too. Anyway, I hope you enjoy~!**

**Purple: She doesn't own Hetalia. Blue will accept constructive criticism. **

* * *

**Hannah's POV**

"I have a question: Where are your friends?" I asked.

"Well, Gilbert had a dentist appointment, Ludwig's across the school, Feli's sick, and Lovino is in another hall."

"Oh..." Javier said. "Aren't they going to freak if you're not in class on time?"

Matthew's eyes widened. "Oh, maple! Lovino!" He ran out the library.

Javier and I ran out behind him. When we finally reached him, we found him spewing apologies to a somewhat freaked out Lovino. Hopefully this will end well.

"I thought someone killed you!" Lovino exclaimed. "Everyone looked like they've seen a murder or something!"

"It could have ended that way if Helen was a boy," Matthew responded.

"Who?"

"The girl who randomly and creepily looks a lot like Matthew's sister," I jumped in next to the Italian. "Which happens to be me."

Lovino looked at me with wide eyes. "Oh." He blinked a few times and looked at Matthew. "And why would she be almost murdered?"

"This crazy chica stood up to the tall, scary Russian dude," Javier said calmly as if it happened a lot.

He turned around and practically screamed. "You did what?!"

"Why does everybody say it like I tried committing suicide?!"

"Because you practically did!" Matthew, Lovino, and Javier shouted simultaneously.

I crossed my arms and glared at them. "This is not even close to the dangerous thing I have ever did."

Matthew sighed. "Why do I keep making friends with weird people?"

Lovino huffed. "I don't know."

* * *

**Matthew's POV**

Being near my friends makes me feel safe. Especially around Gilbert. Maybe because he's the one who saved me from Steven. I wanted to tell him about my dad so badly. He could help me escape the hell hole that I must live in but I can't. I can't.

If I do, I could be sent to an orphanage or a foster home. I don't want that. I don't. That means I can't see my friends anymore. They're the one who give me a reason to live now. They're the light in my life. It might not be much but it's better than to have none of the light at all.

I don't know what to do. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. Anything could go wrong. They could hate me for being so weak. For not telling them. For hiding this dark secret. I don't want to lose them. I can't lose them. Not when they're the only light in my life right now.

"Matthew? You alright?" A voice broke into my spiraling thoughts.

I nodded. "Yeah." I sighed. "I think Ivan's words affected me more than I thought," I sort of lied.

GIlbert gave me a sympathetic look. "Try not to think about it."

"It's hard not to."

He grunted. "What do you want to talk about?"

I shrugged. "Anything really."

"Well, I guess the dentist visit went well."

"You guess?"

"No cavities but that dentist almost stabbed my tongue with that hook thingy."

I looked at him. "How?"

"Oh, you know, the usual dentist 'I know I have to sneeze but doesn't take sharp thing out of patient's mouth' thing." He frowned. "It only scrapped me but it hurt, Birdie. It bled a bit."

I shook my head. "You big baby."

"I am awesome and you know it! The awesome me is not a baby!" He retorted.

"Whatever, King of Awesome."

"It's God of Awesome!"

I laughed. I genuinely laughed. It's strange to actually feel how a friendship helps someone. Someone like me. "Okay, okay. I shall now call you Lord of Awesomeness?"

"Ja! We must tell that to everyone!"

**BRIIIIIIIIIIING!**

We gathered our stuff , still laughing, and walked out the hall for lunch. We met up with Hannah and Javier to guide them to our "secret layer" as Jaime called it. When we got there, we all told him what he missed.

"You did what?!" Gilbert exclaimed in surprise.

Hannah sighed in exasperation. "I fucking stood up to freaking Braginsky." She threw her hands up in the air. "Is it really that hard to comprehend?!"

"Nein! It's just surprising!" Gilbert said quickly. He turned to Jaime "You deal with her everyday?"

Jaime nodded. "24/7. It's not that bad once you gets used to her."

"Ve~ I like her when she's not mad."

"Sorry, it's just getting very annoying that everyone keeps saying that." She pouted.

We all laughed at her expression. Then she laughed with us.

"Hey, you don't seem as pale as you were before, Hannah"

Hannah blinked twice. "Oh! Yeah, I notice that too. Last place we've been, it rained a lot."

"Not a lot of sun. We stayed inside a lot," Javier added. "Most fucking boring place ever."

**BRIIIIIIIIIING!**

Groans and whines of annoyance were heard. We all gathered our stuff and headed to different directions. With a smile on face, I entered my next class. I hoped that nothing bad happened later. However, knowing my luck, I doubted my wish would be granted.

* * *

**Blue: ...I don't remember adding that last sentence.**

**Purple: Then again, you barely remember what you ate this morning.**

**Blue: True, true. Hope you guys enjoyed this! Hannah, Javier, and the plot belong to me!**

**Purple: I will stab you if you send hate.**

**Blue: Purple! That is NOT how you treat the readers!**


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